My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
