also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
