She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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