Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize