guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
