rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
