well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
