shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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