You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
