im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
