Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
