eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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