its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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