1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
