My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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