best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
