i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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