I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize