Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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