Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
