he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
