New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
