I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
