I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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