Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
