Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
