To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
my liver is dry heaving
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
