Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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