I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
