whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
