would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
