So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
