Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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