Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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