You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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