I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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