cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
