we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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