I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
