I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So many bounce houses so little time
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
