I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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