no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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