I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
