He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
