You're so nebulous sometimes
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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