and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
