Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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