I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My penis needs a shock collar
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
