I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
