i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
