so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
