So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
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If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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