The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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