I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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