wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
