my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize