He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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