Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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